The Sorrow and Joy of It

I’ve been thinking about this post for some time now, but what triggered it was a particular couple weeks this summer when all at the same time I had friends going through absolute peaks and valleys in life, mostly regarding babies. New life with all it’s joy and sorrow, both of which everyone goes through in the journey. I would even say before the journey begins, for those longing for a spouse or children of their own and it hasn’t come yet, which is equally peaks and valleys. 

All within the course of this summer I have had many different friends at many different places in the journey. This included a couple losing a baby to miscarriage, another flying to another country to meet their daughter they are adopting, another going back on the adoption list and not knowing how long it will be before they have their next child, another after years and years of infertility taking home a perfect baby girl after finding a birth mother less than weeks before the baby was born, and another having to say goodbye to their son after 33 weeks because of an adverse diagnosis. Not to mention the many more friends who are happily having babies and the many people I know still struggling with infertility, and those who I don’t know where they are at. Lord, how can we bear it all? 

I remember sitting in Mass one of the Sunday’s after some of my friends sad news and just praying, while Leander leaned against my tummy and the baby inside me was kicking against him and I was just overwhelmed with love and joy for what I have, even after feeling so heart broken for my friends moments before. I still feel so lucky to be pregnant right now that it feels like a miracle. It’s hard to know how to take care of our friends when we are in such different spaces, but I’m learning you just have to be there and offer what you can and know God will use the meager gifts you offer, even if it’s just a timely text asking how they are.

 After that Mass we got in the car and I found out news about other friends who ended up with the last minute private adoption. I burst into tears and Kyle probably thought I was hormonal and crazy, but my heart was in awe. God somehow makes it work together for good. All we can really do is ride along the peaks and valleys, alongside our friends, and be okay with being in totally different places at the same time in the joy and sorrow of this earthly life.