Focus

A picture to remember these cute little toes.

My sister Amanda from Simple Slow Real has decided to do a year of no TV for her kids, two beautiful little girls age 1 and 3. Leander is just turning two in a few weeks, so he has actually never watched TV according to the current recommendations on screen time.

Haha.

It's funny how a theme or a topic can come out of nowhere, at the right time, so I wasn't surprised when my sister started hinting to me that she could use some solidarity. Screen time has been on my mind lately, and actually it has more to do with me. I don't know what the daily recommended amount of time for moms is when it comes to screens, but I don't think I'm within the healthy limits, I would call it borderline addicted, but that feels a little too yucky and embarrassing to admit. I just like being connected, I'm being "productive", I'm staying engaged, I'm working. All terrible excuses for basically procrastinating things that I don't want to do because I'm tired or don't "feel" like it. Putting on the TV for Leander makes it even easier to chill and procrastinate. 

Even right now I have quite a busy week and decided to blog for the first time in months. Irony? Accountability? He's napping right now at least. I don't want to always be distracted though. I want to be able to look back and remember him how he is right now...I am already forgetting what he was like 6 months ago! I want him to remember me looking him in the eyes and talking to him face to face.

Anyways! Here are three books I am currently reading that have to do with this very topic that I have been finding super valuable and hope you do to! We are all in this together right?

1) Happier At Home by Gretchen Rubin

I am a big fan of everything Gretchen Rubin, especially her book on making and breaking habits called Better Than Before (serious game changer), so it was easy to fall into stride with this book even though I hadn't read the book preceding it called The Happiness Project. This book has so many tips on slowing down, having less (things and distractions), and connecting more with people. I borrowed it from the library but then saw it was on sale at Indigo for $10 so Kyle is picking it up for me so I can actually highlight it! SO many one liners that have stuck with me!

2) Hands Free Mama by Rachel Macy Stafford

This book hits me right in the feels. Such a great personal account of a mom going from very busy , productivity driven, and distracted to slowed down and putting her focus where it really counts! Very inspiring with practical tips and actually stuff you can work through month by month. I will also add this to my non-library book wish list.

3) Deep Work by Cal Newport

I'm just getting into this one but love the actual facts and research behind what our Social Media driven society is creating. A bunch of people who can't focus for long on important work (Deep Work), and instead are constantly flitting between websites, email, and social media doing "shallow work" and pretending to be productive and then not being able to focus when the time comes to do something that requires mental energy. I'm really good at "shallow work". He talks about what an advantage it is for people who are able to train themselves to do deep work. Checking Facebook randomly throughout the day wires your brain to need distractions. I find it's true and makes me want to build my attention span for Deep Work! 

My Deep Work includes being focused enough to meditate on Scripture and actually pray, and then also doing some goal setting and actual administration type stuff that comes with my business. Also I think being able to just "be" with Leander is important and shallow Social Media use even prevents me from being able to play! Every time I choose not to check my phone it's a victory. I used to have a phone spot where I had to leave my phone and that worked well. I'm also thinking of implementing no Social Media between 9pm-10am, because that's when I should be winding down for bed, and then praying/reading before Leander wakes up, and focusing on him the first hour he is awake.

I'm a work in progress but this little threesome of books is really empowering me! As well as the accountability from my sister. I hope this encourages someone else too! You might be wondering if I'm doing no TV for a year too... just have to convince Kyle because he said then I have to not sleep in and actually wake up with Leander and not put on a show so I can read and do the things I should have done before Leander is even up. I have to discipline myself first!  I am going to cut down to the recommended amount of screen time to start! ( I think it is 30min a day for 2-5 year olds?) We will see how it goes!